18: The talk

I come from an Irish Catholic family first generation in this country and therefore didn’t feel I had to carry the guilt of a colonial UK. It wasn’t until I began to discuss with a friend from my church, about how many times her doctor brother was stopped on his way to and from the hospital in his car when he was young, just because he was black, and the way the police dealt with him when they talked to him, that I realised it wasn’t just hard for young teenagers hanging out as teenagers do – but that it never stops. I know that would not be happening to a young white doctor and I know that is wrong. But my real shock was in our conversation when she told me she had already had to give her young daughters the talk on how to be assertive as young women but not “be thought of as angry black women“. As a white working class woman who has progressed well in her career without parents or others to make contacts for me or support me, I have not felt over “privileged“ but I know, I have never ever had to think about being labelled an angry woman because of my colour. I have brought up two young daughters to be confident and assertive women when necessary but I have never ever had to warn them about being perceived as something they are not just because of the colour of their skin. I know they will never have to experience this kind of prejudice because they are white. This is white privilege and it is only through recognising that we have this that we can understand why people are angry, sad and tired of fighting for justice. And that those of us who are white need to do more to be allies and help to fight for a fairer and just world .