56: I work in construction..

I work in a largely male and white environment in construction. A typical conversation at a tea break often contains racist comments or repetition of racist stereo types. I am white lower middle class and married to a black woman with two children of mixed heritage. I tend to choose when I push back against these comments as experience tells me, its never an instant win and often leads being singled out / left out of conversations. I don't share my personal situation with everybody, although some of the people present in the exchange below did know. Recently I was in a group of 6/7 men having a break when I mentioned that I had been watching the trial of the policeman accused of George Floyd's murder and found the video evidence harrowing and deeply shocking. I felt that this was pretty safe ground as it was clear to me from the evidence that the policeman was guilty. However my colleagues saw it differently. One said "oh he's (meaning George Floyd not the policeman) the one that caused all the BLM riots" (not protests) another said "he was a criminal.” I pushed back, saying he had only passed a fake 20 dollar bill hardly warranting murder at the hands of the police. "He's a drug addict" As if by presenting George Floyd as being in the wrong and therefore deserving what happened. I countered with asking how many white people had died while being arrested for a minor offence and said that they should watch the evidence not repeat vague things they had heard or read. I noticed two of my colleagues, who I knew to have liberal/left views walked away as it became animated as the others started criticising BLM and talking over me and raising the tone. They would not accept that it was harder for black people when engaging with the police than for them. I said, I have lived in South East London for 40 years and I have never been stopped by the police and did they think that that would have been the case if I was black. That was countered by "well they are all drug dealers" this went back and forth for a while before one of them said "I'm not racist, I can't be my brother-in-law is black" another was giving anecdotes of his childhood being chased and picked on by the black kids on his estate. It ended reasonably friendly and I was glad to have stood my ground which I think surprised them as usually their views are not challenged. I try not to mention my wife or kids in these exchanges, and try to present my point of view as normal. Two things happened after these exchanges some talk to me individually and that normally has a positive and friendly outcome while others avoid talking to me or about this subject in a group. It is hard to counter these views and to confront racist comments but in the long run worth it .